Monday, 22 September 2014

The Horny Games

Once again I have been inspired by a series of pornographic images. The general theme of the images was maledom paintball; a naked female is set loose in the woods and a group of men have to hunt her down and 'mark' her for themselves.

Firstly; is this misogynistic objectification? Secondly; wouldn't it be very painful to be hit by a paintball on naked skin? To answer the first question; yes, but that's part of the fun (fellow feminists please keep reading). As for the second question, I propose an alternative:

The Horny Games V1
Wearing nothing but running shoes, two or three women are released into the wild. A group of horny men, decked out in camouflaged clothing and equipped with ropes, handcuffs and sex toys are then allowed to pursue thirty minutes later.

The men have to individually hunt down the women. When they capture one they can tie or handcuff them, toy with them then have sex with them. Once the man has 'marked' his prey he is out of the game and must release the woman. She then has to resume being hunted; the woman who is marked the most is the loser (or winner, depending on your point of view).

Very misogynistic right? Well the feminist in me thinks there should also be an alternative. Therefore:

The Horny Games V2
As per the above, except there are only a couple of naked men released for a group of horny women to pursue. However, men, for the most part, are physically stronger than women. For this version the ladies can therefore use ropes, nets and traps to capture the men. They also have tazers to give their trophies a choice; submit peacefully or be tazered and submit painfully.

Once a female has her man tied and subdued she can set about pleasuring herself with him. To take him out of the game she can make him orgasm. If she's feeling generous to her fellow hunters she can release him with a full load.

So there you go; The Horny Games. Now I just need some willing participants and a forest...

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Room servicing

I'm not quite bold enough to carry a range of sex toys in my hand luggage when travelling abroad. A cock leash is about as daring as I get, anything bigger, harder and vibrator-ier would make me too embarrassed as the security officer scanned the x-ray machine. Not great for someone who is becoming increasingly dominant.

In desperate circumstances I have therefore discovered that hotel rooms can be a good source of kink tools (in the same vein, Argos sells a large range of seemingly innocent but thoroughly naughty items as per my earlier post). Here, hopefully, is some inspiration for your next trip:

1. Bath robe. These always come with soft belts, perfect for tying up your partner or using as a leash.

2. Shampoo bottle. Empty, rinse then fill with warm water for a makeshift douche - perfect for anal preparations.

3. Shoe horn and/or shoe brush. Does your lady/man deserve a paddling? Take a look in the cupboard and make use of these spankingly useful items.

4. Comb. Not quite as good as a pinwheel, but gives a similar sensation on breasts, nipples and buttocks.

5. Ironing board. Using those handy bath robe belts an ironing board can become a (somewhat cumbersome) spreader bar.

6. Bible. Perfect if you're into priest/nun role play. Bible-beaten bottoms? Amen to that.

7. Disposable tooth brush. Apply gently to clitoral area. Repeat. Add a dab of toothpaste for a tingly feeling (warning: may be too tingly for some).

8. Cupboard rail. Again using those robe belts, use the rail to restrain your slave. Close the door on them when you're done, if you're into that sort of thing, you wonderfully filthy person.

Any other ideas?